When going through my own divorce several years ago I had never heard of a divorce coach. Of course I knew that I could seek therapy with a mental health professional to help sort through the emotional ordeal of divorce but I chose not to. It seemed like one more thing that I didn’t have the time in my schedule to do.
Then a few months ago, and five years after the end of my marriage, I attended a 3-day training on collaborative divorce. The full-team model was explained and a real-life scenario was acted out for the participants. I got to witness how the divorce coach of each spouse was able to help them through the legal, financial & emotional issues of their divorce. Being able to watch that process and compare it to how my own scenario played out several years earlier really opened my eyes. For me, decisions were made under stress, or even duress, and actions sometimes out of anger. I could clearly see that if I had had someone to help me manage my emotions & frustrations, I could have made more clear and goal-oriented decisions. I attended the training to help me do my job as a financial professional but I walked away from it feeling almost as if I personally had been coached for the previous 3 days, and it was amazingly therapeutic.
While divorce coaching does not provide legal or financial advice, it does help one focus and manage their emotions so that they can make informed decisions regarding such. Without question, I would recommend obtaining a divorce coach to anyone I knew going through a divorce. Regardless of whether your divorce is amicable or not, your life is changing and you are faced with having to move forward in a new direction. Having a coach can help speed up that recovery process and feeling grounded again. Not all divorce coaches are licensed professionals but most of them are. I wish I had realized years ago the role & importance of a divorce coach and I would have considered that a necessary part of the divorce process, rather than an indulgence that I couldn’t afford to make time for.